“For the God I know is known for faithfulness and my hindsight says I can trust Him with what’s next.”
It has been a year in this new apartment. I have read 12 books in total, 10 of which I have neatly arranged in the book cabinet stand that I bought on sale, thanks to online shopping vouchers; the remaining two filed away as pdf copies — the convenience of purchasing everything online has led me to finding stores that actually sell e-books which you can get for P2–5. Is this sale even allowed, who knows.
I haven’t had the energy to cook a lot this year because a small kitchen is not really an inspiring space to move around in. I baked twice, yep only two times since January 2022 which by the way was the time when I contracted COVID — a day after I got my booster shot. I hear your “Ironic,” you don’t have to yell, Alanis Morissette.
I joined two campaign rallies and I rallied hard. I booked a hotel right at the heart of the campaign venue, not for the full experience but to avoid the gripping reality of the terrible public commute. It was hot. I brought a brother, a sunscreen, and three campaign shirts.
I hopped on a plane to attend a wedding in Cebu City, the bride three years younger than me. I thought the age gap was worth mentioning. I wore a lovely custom made dress care of a good friend who builds his design portfolio, hence all the sewing and designing all-year round, on top of his day job, which by the way, I was told he also loves. I still can’t believe I took my own measurements accurately and only got to try on the finished product a day before the event. Things always have a way of working themselves out.
I met my college friends over dinner as well. We can now afford decent meals that cost twice our weekly allowance back in the day.
I went to two concerts in one month. The first one planned, the second one out of impulse. I am now an expert at navigating through the chaos that is purchasing tickets online. Three perfectly working computers is key.
I went to so many food trips I lost count. I made an Instagram account to document almost everything, if not all, that I have been eating. I am still processing whether that app would accept ‘normalcy’, i.e., the not-so-expensive, not-so-fancy food that I eat on a daily basis. We will see. I’d like to believe that entirely depends on whether or not I would think about what people would say — a skill I have proudly mastered through the years.
I bought front row tickets to a theater musical. What is life after all?
I got a salary raise during the second half of the year. I couldn’t be more grateful to be in a place where hard work and commitment never go unnoticed, and where rest and mental health are a priority. I guess this is what it feels to be content while remaining ever hopeful for the greater that is promised to come.
I got myself some beautiful flowers from Dangwa some time this week. They’re pink and white. I was told the pink ones were called gerbera, the white ones lilies — this one bit I know. Of all the shopping I have done this year, I was most happy about the flowers.
As beautiful as all of the above may sound, I am a human with negative emotions, too. I sort of lost my temper a number times because of well, some of my most least thought of decisions, which is precisely why I hate spontaneity and not sleeping on things first before acting on them. If anything, I learned how to complain whenever necessary and it’s honestly a good feeling I don’t regret it at all. So not me but it had to be done.
I have been remiss (“I have abandoned” is a heavy way to put it) [in] my obligations in the ministry. I want to pin the blame on my poor social skills and again, on the terrible public transportation system (this must be that bad I had to mention it twice), but that would be wrong. The beauty of it all though is God doesn’t keep a record of my shortcomings. His blessings do not depend on how well I am doing or how many ‘good’ things I have done. He is a God who blesses, who protects, who restores, who provides through it all, no matter what. You see, my Father is so, so good like that!
I installed this journal app called Day One because I didn’t want to get a 2023 planner. I realized I am more inclined to freely writing everything; a space any planner will always run short of. The power of pen-to-paper writing though is the pruned train of thought; less words, less mistakes. Call it coincidental and nonsense but my intentions scribbled on paper seem to reach the heavens quicker — at least based on my experience.
“Si Jen, favorite yan ni Lord, eh,” my friends would always say, as God always seems to listen and respond with haste even to my smallest requests. I want to take pride in that. So I ended up getting a pretty 2023 planner. I called the store many times over to follow up its delivery and even asked to cancel last minute (I had other plans and I wasn’t thinking straight). They offered a refund as it was past the delivery time frame, and to make the long story which consisted of long phone calls and customer service chats short, I received the planner on the day I requested it to be delivered. I guess there really are no delays, I am just impatient at times. One thought struck me that day — that nothing and no one, not even myself on my most self-sabotaging moments, can ever stop God’s beautiful plan for my life. Funny I thought of it from the 2023 planner I ordered. Let’s fill her up with many beautiful prayers, plans, and experiences next year, God!
My mind is a battlefield at the end of every year, but that is exactly the best part of it: the mental disarray always happens and guess what, it always ends up well. I don’t know what the future holds, but I sure know who holds it all. Thank You, Jesus, for being God in spite of and through all my seasons.
Here’s to tossing aside the fear, anxiety, and worry, and fully surrendering and stepping into a place of answered prayers.
“You stepped into my Egypt and You took me by the hand. You marched me out in freedom into the promised land.”
Love, joy, peace, kindness, wise choices, divine protection, good health, bold favor, and prosperity for 2023!
